The Mysterious Miss UCHE...here she is...

Styles: WHAT’s YOUR OPINION ABOUT THE AWARD…
Uche: Which one in particular?. Oh, you mean the Neoscar awards in general?. Well, I think it's fun (yeah, 'cos I won thrice..ha). And I give you props for thinking it all up. Esp. the name..NEOSCAR. Noice. Wish it came with some monetary advances though. lol Or even a plaque...that can be pawned, can't it?. lol

Styles: IN DETAIL HOW DOES IT FEEL TO WIN THE MOST POETIC MEMBER OF THE YEAR AWARD…
Uche: It cracked me up when I saw my name there because (unlike JN and NR), I really don't participate actively, poetically here on NE. I think that I posted some poems like 2 wks prior to the day the nominations came out. So I lucked out I guess. But honestly, I'm really touched about it because the poems that I did post were all personal n' born out of great depression and sadness. So thanks guys for rewarding my sorrowful counseling. Muchas gracias amigos.

Styles: PLS TELL US WHAT MAKES YOU LOVE NE SO MUCH…
Uche: NE is first n' foremost a fun place to hang out on my 'vegging-out' days. It's as entertaining as the name suggests with all its crazy n' lively members. I remember the 1st few wks of its creation a year ago n' how empty it felt. Except for Puppy love who practically lived here. haha. I used to pick on PT a lot then. Called her my former akara seller from Ajegunle a lot. [She still is]. haha. Those were the good ole days n' I owe NE a lot of gratitude. A lot of thanks for some fun-filled days.

Styles: DO YOU THINK YOU SHOULD HAVE WON THE MOST MYSTERIOUS MEMBER over OKAEY?...
Uche: You're asking me like he won n' I lost. lol. Actually, I was surprised to see both our names in that category. I was like "hmmm....interesting." I dunno. I think he deserved to win as much as I did 'cos we're both weirdos respectively. CIPHERS. So I really thought it was gonna be a draw btw us since he rightfully got a lot of the votes. But hey, I won.
[@ Okaey, na na na na na naaaahhhh. lol]

Styles: WHAT DOES IT TAKE TO BE YOU?...
Uche: Lots of acting. j/k.I'm a leo, gimme a break...alright. It takes lots of hot cocoa, malt, energy, insanity, dancing, laughing, lateness, writing, listening, privacy.... I can go on but most importantly, it takes a great deal of STRENGTH OF CHARACTER to be me consistently. With God's help o'cos.

Styles: WHO DO YOU FIND TO BE PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY ATTRACTIVE ON NE THAT YOU WOULDN’T MIND DATING?...EXPLAIN IN DETAILS,
Uche: The guys on NE are ALL hilariously lovable...to single one or two out will be unlovable...but... he knows.

Styles: TELL US YOUR OPINION ON UNIQNAIJACHIQ… lol.

Uche: Why UNC?. Alright, 1st of all, I wanna ask her to ask her grandpa to adopt me. I'll be good. Plz, I promise. I won't be sly.
UNC is a beautiful chic with a good head on her shoulders. I also think that she's highly intelligent, highly motivated, highly talented, highly opinionated and just plain HIGH atimes. j/k [@ UNC, how am I doing with this butt-kissing?. Did ur grandpa say yes yet?. ha.]

Styles: CONSENSUS(LY)…MOST WOMEN DON’T REACH ORGASM DURING INTERCOURSE…DO YOU HAVE ANY SOLUTION FOR THIS?…DO YOU REACH ORGASM DURING INTERCOURSE…
Uche: Do I have a solution for this?. Ha!. I'm sorry to disappoint you but I'm not an OB-GYN. I don't have squirt for 'em...(pardon the pun). All I can say is, don't just lay there. Try to figure out what works or doesn't work for ya....ya know...things that make you go "hmmmm...right thuurr". Enuff said.

Styles: HAVE YOU SLEPT WITH MULTIPLE PARTNERS AT THE SAME TIME?...
Uche: One time, at band camp...LOL!. Yeah, actually, when I was little, my cousins n' I used to sleep in a room together during long vacations. Does that count?. No?. Ok...then...nope. I haven't. And I'm not planning on it either. Not if you count when Junior and little Uche get here n' they may wanna sleep with daddy n' mommy. Will that count?. No?. Oh mehn!. Alright...I'll take, define "slept/sleep/sleeping" plz?...for $4000, ALEX....multiple jeopardy!.

Styles: RIDING RODEO or DOGGYSTLE…choose ONE
Uche: Do I have to choose one?. I do?....gimme a min...tum bom tum bom las kalaba titi alaba bust. Alaba alaba kai kai, titi bust n' bust... I wanna be a cowgirl baybee.... lol

Styles: DO YOU SWALLOW?…RATE YOURSELF ON SCALE 1 to 10 with 1 been an amateur and 10 been an extreme expert on SUCKING DICK…
Uche: I don't swallow, bad for the river. I don't smoke, bad for the lungs. Neither do I suck Dick. I only suck Harry...n' sometimes Tom. Enuff said.

Styles: WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU ON YOUR MOST MEMORABLE DAY SO FAR ON EARTH…
Uche: In late June of 2002, my life changed forever when I met this beautiful man with a brilliant mind and an amazing soul n' a seksy body n' a stubborn streak just like me. He made me laugh out loud like never before. The only man who's managed to make me nervous n' speechless...in a very good way.
And he still makes me laugh out loud even with all that we've been thru. [Can all my sistas now sigh "aaaawww"...n' my brothas mutter "PuLeeze"... lol]. It's true.

Styles: PLS TRANSMIT THIS INTO ENGLISH
“Akukwo na atu to, akukwo na atu to
ona rah u na mu ta,
oye n were n ta shi obi
ona mu ta akukwo
mo buru na ne ya na nay a
nwere ego
mo buru na ne ya na nay a
nwere ego”

Uche: LMAO!!!. Where did you get that from mehn?. Chei. Memories. Alright...don't quote me on this but here I go...

"Education is fun, Education is fun
but it's hard to learn.
If you have a determined spirit
you can learn
only if your parents
are rich.
Only if your parents
are rich."

PS: I give you a D+ for the Igbo version. You killed it D-E-D, my bruvva. lol

Styles: PLS FREESTYLE A POEM FOR ME REAL QUICK
Uche: Oh gosh..I don't freestyle n' I'm gonna sound lame trying to rhyme. ha!....

I live
I believe
Secretly
Discreetly
I try
I cry
but tears
often clears
my mind
What kind
of human
a woman?
Well yes
Jah Bless.

lol.

Styles: DESCRIBE YOUR IDEAL MAN?
Uche: Simple. Down-to-earth. With no airs. Just simple. Even with titles n' treasures abound, still simple. Like my late grandfather n' uncle. Or more visibly, Bill Cosby.

Styles: TELL US YOUR FAVORITE ARTIST(MUSIC)…

Uche: Presently: [f]Janet Jackson. [m]Maxwell
ARTIST(MOVIE) [m]Hugh Grant. [f] Dame Judy Dench [something 'bout them Brits n' their acting].

Styles: IN DETAILS, WHAT CAN WE IN DIASPORA DO TO HELEP NIGERIA CONDITION?...
Uche: If I know the right answer to that, I'll bottle it n' hopefully make millions out of it. But I do know that we have to still keep the flag flying high wherever we may be. We can never be as patriotic as say for instance, Americans but we have to keep being Nigerians nomatter what. And find the pride in that. And from there comes the desire to do whatever you feel is needed to do. Which is?. I dunno. Look in the mirror. Consult your physician if hazardous to your health.

Styles: WHAT DO YOU THINK OF IBRAHIM BADAMOSI BABANGIDA RUN FOR THE PRESIDENCY AGAIN IN 2007?...
Uche: I think it's interesting. N' he's quite an interesting guy if I may say so. Getting to epic proportions in the political history n' fabric of the country. A sidenote: He n' I share the same birthdate (August 17th). As well as the other dictator Napoleon. And Mae West, the sexy actress (but that's another story..lol).
I just think that IBB is too power hungry..Oops...did I say that out loud?. But what else is new....(the understatement of the Nigerian political century, perhaps?.)
I digress.

Styles: WHERE IN NIGERIA IS YOUR HOMETOWN(where ya papa hailed from)?...
Uche: There's this popular saying in Eastern Nigeria about what this town said to this other town. Now, the question is, which town do I claim?. But the real question is, which town claims me?. Huh?. No really, do you know?. 'Cos I've stayed so long in America, I've forgotten. ???

Styles: WHAT IS THE BEST NAIJA MOVIES YOU’VE EVER SEEN?...NAME THE LEAD ACTOR AND ACTRESS…
Uche: I don't know the actors/actresses' names... pardonez moi...
1. $1 (my all time fav so far)
2. UKWA (Nkem Owoh, Amechi Muonago ["Aguiyi"...he's my cousin ...yeeaaahh ].
And these old old ones that are still my favs;
3. TABOO
4. Nneka, the pretty serpent [Tony, nee m anya, Tony asim gi nee m anya] lol
5. Evil Passion
6. Living in Bondage [Paul akowasiroom ifea ofuma] lol

Styles: WHAT’s YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE OF ALL TIME…
Uche: Gosh..I'm a movie buff so..I have a lot of favs but if you sit me down n' force me to watch just one movie over n' over again all week long, it's gotta be "BAREFOOT IN THE PARK" [with Jane Fonda n' Robert Redford in their hay days].
I'm a fan of old hollywood movies (BTW: Paul Newman n' Joanne Woodard together in a movie is a riot) n' this movie's got it all. After that, my 1st runner-up is def. Spike Lee's "CROOKLYN." Reminds me of my childhood days.

Styles: WHAT’s ONE THING THAT IS SYNONIMOUS WITH YOU?…
Uche: Independent.

Styles: WHAT IS THE HARSHEST THING YOU EVER DONE TO MAN?…
Uche: Is there a more gentler way to tell a man that you are not meant to be husband n' wife...in this lifetime...when he is convinced of it?.

Styles: HAVE YOU BEEN FOLLOWING THE POETIC WORK OF POETICESSENCE?...if yes, pls tell us your thoughts on them…
Uche: I've read only a few. I think she's talented n' funny. Her "Poetry Thief" cracked me up n' at first, I thot she was talking to me. I dunno why, I guess 'cos I'm Catholic so I feel guilty all the time?. j/k

Styles:STYLES WANT TO SING FOR YOU…
Uche: lol. Alright...go ahead...here's the mic...HIT IT!...

****In Sunny Okosun’s voice****

Uche, you are so fine, I want to be your man
Uche, you are so nice, I like the way you talk
Sing you a song from morning to night, waiting for summer sun
Sing you a song from morning to night, so tell me what’s up what’s up

Styles: What do you think?
Uche: LOL!. Thank you Styles. What do I think?. I think that "the cool points are out of the window n' you got me all twisted up in this game." j/k haha. I think you're sweet. That's actually my fav. Sonny Okosuns song off of his "Liberation" CD. So thanks for singing it to me...with a lil twist. Gracias.

Styles: CAN YOU SING ME A SONG TOO?
Uche: lol....sure...let's see...u ready?....Here I go...ain't no brakes in this midnight boogie train....

"Okereke Okereke, du du du ya ya
Okereafor Okereafor, du du du ya ya
Kwe na o ga na aga, o ga na aga...."

On & On....

OSE, BROTHA MI.

Can somebody pls, translate that for me...My igbo is not that strong...NKAY where are you?

Enjoy, folks...

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