Morokoyo

So a friend of mine was having a casual conversation with me about how she pissed her man (boyfriend) off and the guy punched the wall right in front of her. And she giggled “men are so predictable” So I sat her down and gave her a lecture that something is wrong. That there goes the sign in front of her right there. If you get married, he will punch your face. I went straight to the point. My girl was like noooooo. Shebi he was just mad. Now my question is where do you draw the line? A lot of women (well according to research) always see the signs before it actually happens. Is extreme to assume a man that punches the wall might eventually punch your face?

Eldiva

That was how it started with my son's father until he put his hands on me. I am telling you when you see those red flag, do not ignore them. I ignored them and was sorry for it.

Morokoyo

Thanks for being candid with your personal experience. I really appreciate it as it serves for lessons for some of us out here.

Mr. Smith

It depends on how she pissed him off. Women typically internalize ish, we men don't, we gotta let it out. Punching a wall don't mean he will later punch her face because they married. Showing anger is natural, beating is not.

Morokoyo

But the truth is, if a guy punches the wall while you are still dating, who says he won't dent your face after u marry him? Again, note that most abused women will tell u they say the signs but ignored it. Basic So the signs are punching the wall? really, didn’t realize psychoanalysis was one of your forte. what about the guy who gets upset and he grabs his palms in anger? That tells you what? The guy is human, truth is a woman is more likely to throw objects and ish out of anger. Mr. Smith The real issue is controlling his anger on the guys part and knowing what buttons to push on the woman’s part. If this dude is quick to run to the basement to hit the punching bags would it be different than punching the wall? If you ask me, punching a wall is also a sign she pushed a button she prolly shouldn't have. Now if there are a lot of those buttons then she might be wise to re-evaluate their relationship.

Basic

What nonsensical crap. The guy who lets out steam one way or the other is better than the guy who keeps it all bottled up in him cos one day when he is overwhelmed and he lets it all out, chances are that he wont be hitting the wall. Abuse is not only physical. Is it alright to respond to emotional abuse with physical abuse? If women were stronger than men, there will be worse cases of abuse in society. Women know they are not as strong as men, so they try desperately to break him down, they call him bitch, they say he is weak and a lot of them even hit the guy first and when he responds appropriately, they term him the abuser. Any woman that lays a finger on any man deserves to be beaten silly. Thats my philosophy.

Mr. Smith

I hold a similar philosophy: "I don't beat/spank women (outside the bedroom) but if you lay your hands on me first (or hurl sumn at me), all bets are off." Don't mean I'll respond by beating her, but that guarantee that I won't is null & voided at that point. I make it VERY CLEAR with every woman I've been with.

Neon79

I think like Basic said it is the guy that doesn't show any sign of anger that is the dangerous one.

Barron Hertzog

Abeg no dey pay attention to these women and their lifetime movie network stories..

Eldiva

So in other words, you agree that men should abuse women. The only way a man can make himself heard is to let it all out through his fist. Let me tell you a little something about men that hit women. It is because they have a dick the size of a toddler's own. In the case of my sperm donor, he will not fight with men because in 3 different occasions, I have seen his ass whopped. Now when it comes to my turn, the nigga will raise his hands faster than the speed of an angry bullet. Men that hit women do so because there are some inadequacies in their life. They have bruised egos and feel the need to hit a woman to feel superior and mighty. Like I said, I have learnt my lesson. Any man wey show any kind sign say he be woman beater, I go ja commot.

Basic

All I'm saying is that a woman who abuses her man physically by hitting him first deserves to be beaten silly, when I say beaten silly I mean beaten silly. No man deserves to be abused by women
I am also saying that a woman who emotionally abuses her husband by calling him weak will eventually get whats coming to her. One form of abuse isnt less serious than the other.

Bartgmu

I don't agree that punching the wall is necessarily a symptom of an abusive man. It's definitely not a thing to be proud of. Still I would rather a woman err on the side of caution than adopt the ostrich approach. No one deserves to be mutilated by their so-called loved one regardless of how many buttons the woman has pushed or how hard she pushed them.

The Exception

Mr. Smith said what's the difference between punching the wall and going to a punching bag... the difference is that he processed the anger a bit to go elsewhere and find a punching bag to work off some steam. When you punch the wall right then and there, you're either trying to intimidate the woman with you physical strength or you're going off some base instinct. I agree that women shouldn't engage in physical abuse by slapping him first, but by no means should slapping her silly or returning the favor even creep up into your head, because things can escalate so quickly in certain situations. Don't even try to grab her hands or anything, just leave her be.