By Feyi Alara

It was on a Saturday, almost twelve midnight, when I decided to take a ride around town with my brother (Dimeji Alara); he was still a learner then and was always happy to drive. We headed to a street called Janquet (in Cotonou, Republic of Benin were we use to live). Like we were told, this street is always filled with whores hawking their body to make a living and most of them are Nigerians. Nigerian babes huh? At least that is what we were told and that is what we were going to snoop around and see. Seeing is believing.

My brother Dimeji stopped and started pressing the horn continuously, and before we could say anything these girls had already gathered by the window side and were ready to be taken home and slaughtered by their loyal customers like they usually do. My brother found this exciting but I didn’t find this funny at all, so I asked him to drive off and kept to myself till we got home. Lot of things were going through my mind…“Why” was the only word I could utter. I kept asking myself “why“?

Ladies! Ladies! Ladies! Where are your principles, dignity, traditions and cultures? It’s a pity that I have to say this but ladies have decided to become one of the cheapest things on the surface of this earth all over the world. Why have you chosen to bring yourselves so low just because of material things? All because some of us want to be famous rich and drive a good car? I am sorry if this is going to hurt some of us but it’s bad, it’s not a good image for Nigerian women. I have a brother in France that came for summer holiday last year, he asked me “Why are Nigerian girls so attached to material things?” I felt so embarrassed because this was his first time in Nigeria I had nothing to tell him because this is something I don’t really understand myself.

Whenever I go out with my boyfriend, his friends always tell him that I am too pretty to be good and that our relationship will not last because he does not have what it takes to be with a woman like me. Ladies please we have to change, lets work hard for our money, for a career, lets live a decent life. Some of us are educated; let’s use our brains. Must you use your body all the time? Whenever a man wants to approach a woman his thoughts are “I will give her what she wants (money) and I get what I want (sex).” That is why most men today are scared of getting married. Some women will say, “use what you have to get what you want,” but as a lady I believe you have something better than giving your body.

Every human being has a talent or a gift. Some ladies will go to any length to have a role in a movie or get a job in a bank, if that job is for you definitely it will be yours, but whereby you have to sleep with the boss, there is even no assurance that you will get the job because thousands of ladies are ready to do the same thing to get there, and at the end of it all, maybe one out of thirty ladies will be chosen. For how long will you be using what you have to get what you want? All that glitters is not gold. Please ladies we have to do something about this, I think we need to tell them, that true love cares when Prince charming is no longer charming or a Prince!

When Miss World is now as fat as a balloon and can no longer get jeans her size in the market! Love has nothing to do with giving money but giving of heart (that will be a big one for Naija dudes and dames that money seems so important to them). Love takes the bad with the good; love tolerates and endures. We need to let them know we would love them to have the experience of loving and being loved and that we believe in love or don’t we? And the men too have a role to play in this but that is a different topic entirely but before I go I have one last word for ladies

We are like flowers, we fade and age so fast.

Till next time…Bye!

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